Why is dating

We’re always finding out more about those we love and care for (if we’re showing up and taking an interest).Mutual trust happens when each party has consistently shown up over time.

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Someone can share plenty about themselves, and we still have to get to know them based on our experience of him/her.

No matter the dating site or app, there’s no getting around this. 2) Regardless of our intentions or knowledge, sometimes the other party possesses far greater material knowledge than we do.

Experiences of feeling misled, used and disappointed are a turn-off.

We used to fear being sold a lemon when we were buying a car.

Granted, if someone acts shady before we’ve even met or we feel turned off by their profile (or our searching), it spares us from having to interact in real life.

But once we decide that we’re going to engage with somebody and possibly meet them, we are stepping into the same Great Unknown of getting to know someone.

We can’t deny, rationalise, minimise, assume and excuse and expect to feel confident and trusting.

And you might be wondering — how do we achieve that symmetry of available information in our relationships? We have to be open to knowing more than we already do as well as more than what we assume.

If we look at dating as a discovery phase, then in theory, because each party is supposed to be getting to know each other, then there isn’t that imbalance. Of course, this isn’t true in practice, and it’s for these reasons: Many daters, for example, treat dating like an audition for the starring role in someone else’s life. If they know that they’ll be cutting and running at X point or that their previous partners experienced the same issues with them that they’re claiming are in our imagination, we’re not a party to this hidden information.

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