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Those who do not choose the standard life of the salaryman family may become ostracized for not contributing to society by working and raising a family. Tanaka takes care of the house all day, and little Tanaka is at his cram school until pm to try to become a proud member of society, while you’re just dillydallying at your job for your own sake, never worrying about dependents? Not picking the standardized life can be seen as being selfish.Choosing one’s own life over benefitting the greater society doesn’t fulfill one’s duty as a Japanese citizen. Not only that, but you also have your reputation and your family’s reputation to upkeep. Japanese society is not built to sustain people who live outside of the standard.We (non-Japanese) are already afflicted with the fact that we are different, and thus will always be treated differently in Japan.

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I don’t want to scare anyone, but it’s just a reality of living in a conservative country.

Japanese society is slowly progressing towards accepting sexual minorities, so my advice is to be cautious about who you come out to, and be aware of how it could have a severe impact on your work and social life.

Let me begin with a very rudimentary overview of the Japanese societal structure.

Modern Japanese society is built around the “salaryman family”, where everyone’s roles are firmly defined, leaving little wiggle room.

Dad goes to work as a public servant or company worker.

He puts in long hours, usually consisting of overtime, which could be anywhere from a few hours to overnight, through the weekend, and taking priority over national holidays.

Japanese gay men typically remain deep in the closet, in most cases never coming out, even to their closest friends.

Some live as heterosexuals, probably awkwardly dodging questions about why they aren’t married yet.

While many cultures around the world are beginning to understand that gay people, like all people, come in all shapes and sizes and with varying personalities, the average Japanese person has not knowingly been in contact with a gay person.

Their closest idea of gay people is most likely from the tv personalities they see on TV, who are often cross-dressing males who act flamboyantly for a laugh or occasionally, Mt F transgender people.

Though it would be difficult to get any concise statistics, it can be assumed that many are so hidden that they marry a woman and have a family.

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