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The emotional processes that worked as a defense for him when a child will probably work against him as an adult.
Looking at it again now though, I can see that it was simply words she spoke and perhaps she had other reasons for stating that - there was certainly a breakdown in communication between us at the time.
I realize now that invalidations can occur when what is said is not really meant (after all, many times before that she said I'm a great lover) but is a symptom of a more significant upset.
For each question that applies to you, go through the procedure above and see what you can learn from this experience, and what part of yourself you can reintegrate. And perhaps I accept what she says, that I am indeed a useless lover and now I really don't want to make love any more.
I have chosen to accept what she said as the truth.
The first lessons are about finding yourself and becoming whole.
One of the factors that causes fragmentation of your identity - who you think and feel you are - is invalidation, which happens when you feel made wrong by another's comments or actions. One of the main ways this comes about is through invalidation, or 'making wrong'.
Practical: How to handle invalidations There are many and various ways you might have been put-down by others and as a result agreed to have less power. You may have chosen to give him your wallet, which may have been wise.
You need to look again at what happened and ask yourself: The positive learning is basically whatever insight you have found after realizing you have chosen one direction and can revise that choice if you want. If a mugger threatened you with a gun, you have the choice not to give him your wallet. But you never have to do anything against your will. Following is a list of ways you might have been invalidated in the past, or it may be happening to you now. I feel invalidated, put down, and upset, naturally.
If either are missing we are sad, we are defeated, we are joyless.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating